the hammers

the speeches of ours not so shark-ish as mine when it is necessary for the utilisation of sea-creatures except what is mine is also ours and when i cannot explain this is when catfish have my own tongues [some other tongues lost in your ear, actually – you love it when i do that – and the under-flesh of first tongues trapped in jars of sweet things] but meanwhile all the breaking is happening outside outside outside and forearm hairs set the night a LIGHT fire LIGHT fire fire so really i then find myself wandering, wondering who is to say the female confessional is xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo/fillintheblank/ but essay the juice of it all so there progression lies.

 

escape tubes are lonely are blocking are you are lone sufferer escapes are ball of bands rolls towards slowly to swallow

you

 

if you can remember when we sat on bricks and there was no ashtray and as you explained Engels or whatever i was slowly reaching my toes into the bricks and they were sinking and clenching and then all of two minutes later but what actually felt like eleven hours later i unclenched and they removed their nails from me so now whenever i think back to the night about Engels i think of my toenails lost inside those bricks silent always because who wants to say

not me not ever

to speak in always typographical error resetting constant

to resist oppositional combative desires to [i.e.] admit death

to eat it and share the hammers

 

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it all what

visible, these/and for what but a moment where you and i are falling from the  first storey

 

my glutinous windowsill and outside, through/which

colonial gaze for

anti-protectionism.

 

brown everywhere  but different kinds not reflected ['you are so white' they tell me]

my anxieties should be all anxieties and then we would all quietly quiver together but your  anxieties demolish my breasts are the ticket into this  club of formal anxiety. informally they

reject it all of course.

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$$vom$$

we are this floppy being right now and we might vomit $one-hundred$-meals as noncompliance w/ what is foam is cheese but floppy as opposite of robust and robust being the singular survivor strongwoman but floppy being the other one and there is not a there is a middleness . . . this right thigh the site of common and the left thigh to destroy but intention wavers, this right thigh as flagbearer the left thigh as abolisher of flags and flagbearers alike this right thigh means to feed a hundred starving babes this left thigh is clag: viscous denial this right thigh your mother the left thigh my mother a hole up tight wiggin’ pig knife slipping through all your tendons at once because right thigh + left thigh = no thighs.

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in east uncommon

blinds to replaced

static dirt buns and

a lost parakeet did

and sequind bras

discarded on pikes

were heads of you

lay all night before

cops turned up with

cameras and hateful––

anyway musculatures

are defining the min.

requirements and we

with our softness are

on waiting lists now

if only could click fingers

loud or wolf whistle

with conviction and not

so boarishly

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these notorious

dismantling this now frames

where elbow hinges no longer requirement

of socialnecessity

CRIMES OF THUS heavy breathing and fog

hides the intention

and several magistrates observed

this delinquent sacrifice

these superfluous chimes and cogs and

cuttings [wood cuttings for equal uselessness]

 

and the crowds of us observed

and the crowds of us passed down

 

a creed a dialogue for transcript word for word

 

from which nobody strays

 

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not olfaction but that other thing instead

carrion                is my heart is
                                                    swollen
is this lower abdomen
                                                    where is cartilage
rotten beneath the pores.
this is fey nymphic love-making
            for once
[trust me?]
hey but if we never see a meadow
                                              we mourn it
in only dusks
and pretend we are stallions and earning billions .
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a new ochre eel

a reminder that we are not welcome here a reminder that we are not welcome here a reminder that we are not welcome here a reminder that we are not welcome here a reminder that we are not welcome here a reminder that we are not welcome here a reminder that we are not welcome here a reminder that we are not welcome here a reminder that we are not welcome here a reminder that we are not welcome here a reminder that we are not welcome here a reminder that we are not welcome here a reminder that we are not welcome here a reminder that we are not welcome here a reminder that we are not welcome here a reminder that we are not welcome here a reminder that we are not welcome here a reminder that we are not welcome here a reminder that we are not welcome here a reminder that we are not welcome here a Leech Ewe Mourn a Leech Women Rue Crewel Hoe Menu Wench Leer Cowmen Heel Ecru Wheel Creole Eh Eh Eh Eh Lech Men Owe Rue Echo Rule a NEW OCHRE EEL

 

 

 

 

 

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as kin

a skin a stain

a skin a sin

of grandmothers

before me a skin

a place to display

the sins of present

a skin a way to

separate the ecru

from the

sinopia from the

deerskin

a skin a – pology

a skin a punishment

of pigmentation

a skin that is

a liquid dirt

 

 

 

 

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because the grave

this liver liver FLESH opposite in combat.

 

 

for thick skin a crime.

 

 

that is the deviance

 

 

bottled for convenient pleasures only.

 

 

My town’s devilry in broken cranes and windows smashed

 

 

and i will explain to you

 

that my hearts are knife-edged

after one month of fucking or

after three years

of talking and fucking

and sucking.

 

 

the liver wins but surrenders

afterwards to nobody in particular.

 

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these philly fingernails

these philly fingernails

i glance at, sometimes with loving proustic tenderness but sometimes

instead with the qualms of someone who is still battling

with her breasts as symbol of socially accepted sexuality vs who she am

on the inside.

 

these philly fingernails

are black and white but i am neither

black nor white so they are not me

i do not see myself

in them they do not represent me

in them so how

can i wear such

treacherous nails

?!

this morning the hornsby line

this morning the urge

to avoid lilac in my life

this morning the fear

of betraying

my comrades

[as not-breastfeeding-mother&not-mother no doubt]

of betraying

my comrades

with my red crayon lipstick.

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